We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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