singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
