I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
