I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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