haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
