Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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