Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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