you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
