hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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