Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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