Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
