pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize