She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
