You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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