i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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