where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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