Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
