Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
