But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
