what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
