he wants to bone in the snuggie
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
