I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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