I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
