Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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