Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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