A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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