Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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