If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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