Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
