this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
there is puke in my bra ... again
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