I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
