I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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