no you cant smoke seaweed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
