the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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