loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize