dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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