Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So here I am, sexting at work.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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