I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
