chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
