Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
