Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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