So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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