somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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