You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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