he wants to bone in the snuggie
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
