How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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