How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
