Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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