Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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