What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
