____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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