Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
