Sponge bath it is.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
