I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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