fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We named our party play list daddy issues
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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