Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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