the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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