just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
