you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
