i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think my mom watched the whole time
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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