she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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