Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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