It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
