I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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