halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
