Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
