I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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